you were out of control.

anyone could have seen this coming.

how else could this have ended. what were you achieving with this.

what am i supposed to do now that youve gone and gotten yourself killed. who am i supposed to be.

i’m sorry

you kept so many secrets. you fought me. if you’d have just come to me i could have been by your side.

i could be by your side now.

instead i’m standing here and you arent even there. i’m here screaming at a ghost.

i miss you

...dont fucking look at me like that. after everything you’ve done you dont get to look at me like that.

after all the damage you did. after you made me watch you destroy yourself over and over.

and for what? did you have fun? did you win?

i was wrong

and now i have to face you? here? where i have to look around and see reminders everywhere of how we were? how we could have been?

i stand here and i see you down on one knee in front of me. i stand here and see you dead by my hand a thousand times over. why do i have to see you?

i didn’t know where else to go

you-

what is wrong with you? why did you act that way?

what could i have done. what should i have done?

was it always going to turn out like this? is this our predetermined ending?

...

i can’t even call myself a widower.

i’m scared, ari

we spent all this time hurting each other, and for what? what did we stand to gain?

i barely even remember how our love broke.

and now-

i’m alone. i have nothing. i am nothing. all this time, and i forgot how to be without you. and you had to go and fucking leave me.

i don’t know what to do

…

why are you saying these things? even- even in this, even here, i can’t see you as you were.

god, if you had just given me one last chance to see you, one moment knowing this would happen, the things i’d say-

...

instead i get this. i get you, apparition, some cruel trick of my own mind-

i should have been there. if it had to happen this way, it should have been me. my hand. my finger on the trigger.

i think i’m dying

why am i even here? some bullshit excuse. i barely remember what i said.

i hoped i might see you again. i might see us again.

not like this.

…

i barely even recognise you like this.

ari, i’m so tired

...what is this.

what are you? why are you torturing me this way?

a simulation? a hallucination? some kind of fucking hive curse?

…

...Jed?